I Look Back - Episode 9

I nodded my head slowly as if I was accepting the offer with some hesitation, though my heart was jumping in joy. I looked at G and C, as they were standing together. I noticed a smile just leaked out of G’s face. She noticed that I am beholding her so I skipped my sight out of her. I got ready for rehearsal as teacher wanted me to stand in the centre. I was waiting for a big dance step, but she just told me to raise my hands and wave for some time. That was easy for me. And after that I was holding the girls’ hands and I came forward to the front of the stage as people before me standing or sitting in front of the stage clapped the hands. It was the annual I felt very happy getting applauds from the crowd.

After our show I just went to the changing room for shedding my costumes, where I saw G just standing before me and alone in the room. She was standing very near to me as I can smell her fragrance. As once my friend said usually it was not love at first sight, at first sniff it was. I was simply looking at her. My eyes forbade sending the signals to the brain but my nose did. She waved her hands before my face as if she’s saying bye to me, but wanted to get my attention. I got out of that hallucination after a while. What she asked. Nothing, I lied. She threw a smile at me and just left the room. At that I felt like holding her face in my hands. I think at some instant of this time she became a part of me. And at that instant I decided to tell her that how much I like her. I didn’t want to mention it as love, because I was not at an age to understand what love is. It was a feeling, which makes you think about one person most of the time.

One day I told all these things to one of my best friend. I believed in him. After telling this to him I felt very much relieved. That evening G came to me. I was little bit nervous. “I didn’t expect this from you”, she told.

To be continued…….

I Look back - Episode 8

Her name was C. I really wanted to be very close to her. But fortunately I didn’t get opportunities for that. Even I tried to make some, but didn’t work well. Every one in our class, attracted to her. She was very close to one of my big rival in my class and this made me hate her. There was a saying in Tamil “Nizhalil arumai veyilil theriyum” (you will realize the goodness of Shadow only when you are exposed to the sun). I really missed G those days. I wanted to continue the relationship with her.

Meanwhile annual day celebrations were announced in our school. Teacher asked for active participation in the cultural events from our class. Firstly she asked for skit, some people from my class opted for that. I didn’t opt for skit; actually I never wanted to participate in these events. There are two reasons for that. One is, if you are participating in the events, you need not to come to school that day. Secondly, I always wanted to sit back, relax and watch the performance.

Teacher asked for dance participation. For me dance is like eating bitter guard. But both G and C opted for dance participation and my rival P also opted for dance. The only thing went on my mind is what happen if they pair G or C with P. I can’t even imagine that. So with out even thinking again I raised my hand for Dance participation. On the next Saturday they arranged for dance practice in my headmistress house. I told my mom that I am going for dance practice. She looked at me strangely and asked dance? You? “Yes” I replied. When I went there I came to know that boys and girls are dancing separately. I scolded myself for my foolishness. They wanted us to dance for some song. After seeing my dance they removed from the group and made me wait. I was just watching others dancing, also sometimes peeping in to the room where girls danced. While I was peeping in to the girl’s room one teacher saw me and called me inside. I was frightened to the core. I thought she was going to beat me in front of all the girls that too G and C are there inside.

Teacher asked me why I am not dancing with the boys. I told her that no slot available for me, hiding the truth that I was expelled because of my poor dance. After thinking for a while she asked me, “Can you dance with these girls??”

To be continued……..

I look back - Episode 7

I had a feeling in my childhood days. I always imagine my cycle as a bike, since i admired bikes very much. I imagined some places as fuel stations and I my self imagined that my cycle had a transmission system and made manual transmissions. so practically after filling the fuel for my bicycle I started for G's house.

On my way to her house I saw green fields all over. The birds in the sky also accompanied me in my journey. The obvious bumps and pits in the road appeared to be easy for me. Only the thought of seeing her house filled my heart. I never drove my cycle this far. But it didn't make me tired. At that time even climbing a hill seems to be a easy job for me. I really thought the above said things would happen. But it didn't. I was tired after driving for a Km. So we stopped for a while. I was staring at the path which we have to take next. Suddenly a heavy blow landed on my back. I was shaken by the blow, the face reflected with both anger and pain. Even tears started flowing from my eyes. I turned to see who is that. It was my mom.

Since I was not there near my place for a while, My parents started for searching me. They inquired about my presence in all my friends place. Then suddenly they came to know that I was heading towards Railway station, that's where G's house is situated, my mom came that way in search of me. I was literally dragged by mom to my house. My parents did not allowed me to go out of our campus, then. Visiting her house seemed to be a mirage for me.

During weekends I and my friends never stayed in home. We always roam some where and play cricket to the core. That day we saw a new family arriving there. They came for the flat next to ours. We saw them moving the things from the van they came to the flat. There I saw a girl who's more beautiful and attractive than G.

To be continued....

I look back - Episode 6

Who is this G? You people might wonder. I told you previously that there was a new joinee in our class. She was that new joinee, as she was introduced to me by one of my teacher. At first I didn’t like G. But later I was amused by her talent and interest in studies. I always had a soft corner for her. But I pretended as if I had a lot hatred for her. I was always expecting a chance to be with her. I had a lot too. My class teacher wanted someone to teach her English grammar. But no one was very confident to volunteer for that. But my excellence in “Fun with grammar” offered me that chance. Thanks to “Fun with grammar”. I always liked her presence near me. That’s why I didn’t feel sad for getting second rank. Even in the mark list she was near me.

Near my house in Sivagangai, there was a person, who was friendly with me and my brother. His name is Durai I guess. I used to take his bicycle, just for a ride. Since it was a very tall cycle, it was very difficult for riding it. One day when I took the cycle for a ride I fell down and got injured badly. On seeing this dad brought me a new cycle. It was a BSA Champ.

There was a guy named A in my class, who lives near the railway station. With his help I found that G was living near his place. We used to have study groups in our class, where one bright student has to teach other people in the group. As obvious, I am the leader of my group and this A was in my group. So I made a deal with A that he has to show me G’s house and I shall leave him free during study hours. So one Sunday after lunch I asked him to come to school, so that A can show me G’s house. And we started…

To be continued…

I look back - episode 5

Most of the girls in my class won’t study well. They always got scolded by the teacher. Because of this I came to a conclusion that girls basically bad at studies. They are not fit for a healthy competition in studies with the boys, at least in my class. So this made me to give the girl in my class, a less importance. I was very partial and playing a lot of politics against girls. This made some of the girls frustrated. They were seeking a messiah for them. But whatever it may be, the big support for me is the teachers. They are very fond of me and supported me very well.

I heard there was a new comer for our class. Since I also heard it was a girl, I was not much interested. The girls didn’t notice that I was noticing them, making small meetings with her and discussing a lot of stuffs. “Ah that’s all usual girls stuff. Don’t care about ‘em”, I gentled one of my friend who got irritated on seeing all these.

In my school they organized Karate classes for the students. I was very interested in learning Karate and to become a Karate kid. But my dad was not allowing me, since he thought I will become very rude after learning. But I insisted mom to make me join the Karate class. After a lot of advices my dad admitted me. I learn theoretical classes in the school and practice them with my brother. Most of the time I will beat him up and he’ll complain to mom. I think mom might have regretted for her recommendation.

I never expected that this would happen. All my dreams were shattered. I don’t know how to face my mom and dad, even my friends. For the very first time I felt very ashamed. It was like a scary nightmare. My heart was not ready to touch the second rank batch. I now realized how bad S felt on getting third rank batch that day, when I got first rank. It was a pain to lose I realized then. But still I was happy to have a competition at least, that too from the other gender. Yes, the new comer got the first rank and beaten me. Her name is G.

to be continued...

I look Back - Episode 4

Thanks to “Fun with Grammar”, which made me score few marks more than him, to secure the first rank. And voila, it also made me the class leader. Hmm that’s impressive. My mom was very happy to see that I got first rank. Every one was very surprised to see that I got first rank being a new comer to the school. I became very famous in the school. You can see no teacher, who doesn’t know Dheena.

My mom and dad are very much interested in visiting temples. I think that is mostly because of devotion. But for me, after going to a lot of temples with them it induced a taste for architecture. I really love to visit the ancient temples and monuments. I admire the artistic quality of the people at the ancient time. One of such favorite places we visited when we are in Sivagangai is Nattarasankottai.

Nattarasankottai is situated 9 km from Sivagangai. Nattarasankottai is ancient village. The fame and popularity came to this place mainly due to Sree Kannudaya Nayaki Amman Temple. On realizing the displeasure of Kannatha, the village people constructed a separate temple for Kannathal facing North with a water tank in the front. This temple mahamandapam is known for its magnificent structure and aesthetically carved pillars. My mom used to call the amman as Ayiram Kannudaiyal. She also told a story for that name, but I can’t remember it. I also heard that one of the Maruthu brothers was hanged to death here, because his final wish was that he should be watching the temple while his soul leaves his body.

Some of the students in our class and other classes really liked me as class leader and a good friend. But for some people I looked very atrocious. They really didn’t like me. They were thinking that I was very pride that I am studying well. I was able to hear them saying,”he who can diminish and destroy dheena’s hubris, will come”. I was expecting him. But at that time I didn’t know it was not ‘he’, its ‘she’.

To be continued…

I look back - episode 3

I heard there was a practice in the school that for the students who are getting first three ranks, they give badges, which the student can wear it for two or three days. In the badge the rank of the student will be imprinted. I heard that the students will be very proud to wear those badges as every one in the school will come to know about their performance. For the first three ranks class teacher will give the badges to the respective students in the class room itself while issuing rank sheets to the class.

That day class teacher entered our class and told that she will be distributing the rank sheets to the students. I was very eager to know my marks. Usually that’s my behavior; I will not be scared of getting mark sheets as most people do. Our class teacher was distributing the mark sheets from the lowest rank (or is that the highest rank). Till 10th rank I was sitting happily seeing others getting mark sheets. But when it neared rank 10, I was concerned to know when teacher will call my name and what rank I got. Till 5th rank she didn’t called my name. I was hoping for the 4th rank. But teacher called some other name for 4th rank. Teacher breathed heavily after this breath taking task. I was very happy that I got with in first three ranks and that I am going to get the badge. Teacher called the name “S”, who has got the third rank. Teacher gave her the badge. But she started crying after receiving the badge. I asked my neighbor why. He replied me that previously she was getting second rank badge. There was a huge silence after that.

“dheenadhayalan”, Teacher called my name. Though I was little bit disappointed, I was happy that at least I got second rank. I went near her and she clipped the batch near my shirt pocket. “Very good dheenu, you proved you are a potential student in the first exam itself”, she told. “I make dheenu the leader of the class”, she added. I looked at the badge near my pocket. It was written 1^st rank.

.. to be continued